One year ago this week I became challenged in my life to a level I’ve seldom experienced. My beloved grandmother died at the grand age of 107, a beloved family member vented at me as a target of apparently suppressed anger, and a friend whom I considered to be a very good friend ‘dumped me’ in a text. The intense grief I experienced as a consequence of these events resulted in bringing in the New Year with a slipped disc and a year of grief healing. Add into the mix my husband being made redundant and my mother being diagnosed with cancer you have a great story line for EastEnders: And it’s all true.
Now, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, quite the opposite, as it’s only through these experiences in life that we can grow and understand ourselves inwardly to understand what makes us stronger. Through this year’s journey I’ve realised more than ever how important NLP, hypnotherapy and the Lightning Process training programme are to me. I’ve been able to focus on the people that really matter to me and focus on what’s really important to me in my life and the lives of those I cherish, whilst respecting others choices, even when I don’t agree with them, and moving forward on my fabulous journey: LIFE!
Throughout all of these events I have used the Lightning Process, as this is the wonderful thing about this training, it works on everything! Well, ok – it might not bring about world peace, end world famine and restore the economy – or could it?
The Lightning Process works on mind body connections, and our ability to influence these to work in our favour, in a helpful way. So when I was torn apart by the grief of my grandmother dying, I could focus on the areas that I could change: the funeral and remembering all the wonderful times we had had together. The same for my family member and my friend: focus on the good times we had and recognise that I cannot change the way they chose to feel about me.
My husband losing his job opened up a river of possibilities for us to pursue and by focusing on what this gave us, we couldn’t possibly mourn the loss of a corporate salary and life style.
As for my mother getting Cancer, well as frightful as this is it still comes down to the same thing: focus your energy on what you have the control over, accept the things you can’t change and offer her all the help I could from my bed. This is did with copious amounts of NLP, mind body connection hypnotherapy CD’s and messages. And thankfully she has come through it, I am pleased to say.
The slipped disc was a challenge though, as I used the process to support healing and it just wasn’t doing so and I therefore sought the master: Phil Parker. He reminded me that all healing was possible and we simply need to give our bodies what they need to repair and I realised that I wasn’t doing this, as I was still hurting from the recent events. So now it was time to use the grief process within hypnotherapy and yes, that helped a lot! The understanding that I cannot lose what I had with these people meant they will always be with me. It’s simply a gentle parting of the ways along life’s journey. Now my body just needed the time to heal, with some good mind and body work within the Lightning Process, and hypnotherapy, I really have so nearly achieved this that it genuinely feels like a miracle.
And now what about the NLP? Well that’s easy to explain. There are 10 main principles of NLP of which a few are:
Every behaviour is useful in some context.
Every negative action has a positive intention.
In any system, the element with the most flexibility exerts the most influence.
Remembering these three key concepts meant that I was able to accept the behaviour of those around me. When my friend sent the text, this clearly was useful to her in some way and brought about her own positive intention: Likewise my family member. It is not for me to understand their positive intentions; it is for me to show the flexibility to influence my own life to a better end.
Over the past year I have studied for my Masters in NLP and Advanced Hypnotherapy and Lightning Process. This I am very proud of as I feel I truly have achieved miracles out of what could have been a devastating year.
To sum up I have used:
Hypnotherapy for – pain relief, grief healing, supporting mind body connections with my mother’s Cancer
NLP for – understanding some challenging human behaviour
Lightning Process for – slipped disc, mind body connections for emotional strength and calm.
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Take care till next time.
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